Race Card Time

Brock Lesnar. Ah, how we love you. This is the same person who once gave the WWE two weeks’ notice before Wrestlemania to tell them he was going to be an NFL star. (For those unfamiliar to the wrestling world, that’s like Michael Chiklis giving two weeks’ notice that he was going to leave “The Shield” just before the season’s end.) He went to the Vikings and the highlight of his tenure there was a fight during training camp. He was never really considered more than a publicity stunt and a desperate attempt to to sell some jerseys. As soon as they told him he would have to go to NFL Europe, he was out of there. And then after his championship win at UFC 100, he proceeded to slam the sponsors, flip the fans off and brag about how he was going to jump on his wife. (It’s not 1996 anymore. That’s not really something I’d brag about now.)

Now Brock is doing his little thing again. “When I get done whooping your ass, I’m gonna go drink a Corona and eat a burrito just for your Hispanic heritage. How about that?”

Okay, first of all, the name is pronounced Bel-as-kez, not Vel-as-kwez. This is common courtesy that you learn your opponents’ name and make an attempt to pronounce it correctly. This really bothers me as a human being. I encounter people all the time whom I don’t know how to pronounce their name. I ask them how to pronounce it and try it. If I miss it, I chuckle sheepishly and I ask them to forgive me for butchering their names. Maybe because my degree is in a foreign language (Spanish, to be exact), but I get insulted when somebody makes no attempt to pronounce a name right.

Second of all, (and you know this is coming from a Spanish major, so forgive my bias) I’m trying to think of shameful stereotypes that Brock forgot. A corona & a burrito? Really? Brock, did you learn all about the Hispanic culture by watching Speedy Gonzalez cartoons? You gonna start playing the Mexican Hat Dance? How about wearing a sombrero & pancho? Brock, you were born in South Dakota. Do you have a giant head constructed in your honor? Do you ride around on motorcycles?

Finally, Brock Lesnar is the biggest freaking genius in MMA. One of my favorite quotes is from Rowdy Roddy Piper, the legendary actor/wrestler when speaking to Hulk Hogan, “If they didn’t hate me so much, you think they would have been cheering you so much?” Brock is doing what Brock is great at doing. He runs his mouth and hypes up pay-per-views. He is the villain you want to see defeated. He’s the Yankees, the Lakers, the Duke Blue Devils, the Cowboys, the Red Wings.

You want to see Velasquez defeat Brock Lesnar. You want to see Clint Eastwood defeat the villain in the final shootout. You want to see the rebels defeat the Death Star. You want to see Frodo destroy the ring of doom. You want to see Jamal Malik win the “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” You want to see Rocky beat Apollo Creed. You want to see John McClane defeat the terrorists and save the day.

Brock is our Charles Boyer in Gaslight, Mr. Potter, Khan Noonien Singh, Keyser Soze, Lord Voldemort, Sauron, Emperor Palpatine, Cruella de Vil. He’s the villain we want to see defeated. He is doing everything he can to make sure that we buy this PPV to see Cain Velasquez beat him.

Am I offended by what Brock said? Absolutely. Do I think he’s a genius? Absolutely. He’s even got me talking/ranting about him today. Brilliant.