Monday, November 28, 2011

Raw is Getting Me Through Caffeine Withdrawal 11-28-11

So last week's Raw took some pretty big steps. I know. I was going through caffeine withdrawal a few weeks ago and decided it was time to go off of it again. Not sure why I did that. Even with everything, there is still a little bit of anticipation tonight. Piper's Pit. John Morrison's Future Endeavored Tour ends tonight. Punk-Del Rio.
I liked the build-up to the title match. Cole & Lawler made it sound important.
They introduced a skinny guy named Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper is one of my top 5 all-time favorites (Double-A, Taker, Terry Funk, Piper & Sting). Piper brought something we haven't seen in months. Fire and intensity. It took me a while to figure out what was going on with this promo or why it was happening. I think Piper was trying to get the people to cheer him. Cena continued being happy, smiley Cena. So Piper slapped him. Cena stopped smiling and walked off. Did we find some intensity?
Miz was supposed to fight Morrison. Miz attacked John Morrison with a lead pipe. Welcome to the last stop of the Future Endeavored Tour. Morrison got in some offense and had lots of heart. I was actually surprised this match was as good as it was. He wasn't even pinned. The referee called the fight.
Psycho Miz cut a nice promo. He had good intensity and fire. He's the one guy who does well with scripted material. The only problem was that I think he sounded just like Cody Rhodes.
The Bellas wrestled Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox, the new love of my life. By the time I was done typing this sentence, Alicia pinned a Bella for... why? Beth and Nattie did a run-through that didn't involve interfering in the match.
We got a Sheamus package. I love the video packages they do. This needs to happen more. Broadus Clay has to hold off ANOTHER week? Then Punk delivers a killer segment. Loved the Jennifer Hudson reference. Now Punk can't get intentionally disqualified? Does this make ANY sense?
Wade Barrett walks down to the ring nicely dressed. We get Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler. I'm expecting a lot out of this. This was a really good match. The crowd was really into this. Ziggler won through a little help from Wade Barrett.
Michael Cole introduced Daniel Bryan. Michael Cole was awful during this promo. Daniel Bryan spoke with a lot of passion and fire. This would have been a great segment with Josh Matthews instead of Cole.
We got Swagger (without an entrance) versus Zack Ryder. It was a nice short match. Swagger needs to go to Ring of Honor and feud with Homicide. Or Eddie Edwards. Right now I'd take just about anybody. Ryder won.
The Kane promos are awesome.
Mick Foley is now destroying every happy memory I've ever had of him. Then Punk says "ass."
The main event was really good. Lots of near-falls. They were going to do the "heel pretends to be hit by a chair" and Punk fell down first.
Tonight's Raw was pretty good. Everything seemed to be a little more serious. There was some good passion and fire here. Please tell me we are going to make John Cena not hated again. I could do without "St. Mick," but Super Dave was only featured in one scene.
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Monday, November 21, 2011

Twitter Presents... Monday Night Raw

Last night was Survivor Series and I don't think I felt the hate that others did. I thought the first hour was pretty good (sans Super Dave reminding us this was his 10-year anniversary with the company). I was surprised with the 10-man tag match. I thought Orton was winning all along and instead, Rhodes and Barrett were made to look strong. I hated the way that Sheamus was eliminated. And I really hated the way Sin Cara was eliminated. He is getting a push and a build that any wrestler would KILL for. And he does nothing but piss on it with his attitude, ego, wellness violations and an in-ring style that makes Mason Ryan look like Ric Flair. I know accidents happen, but you really should be able to not mess up as much as he does. Right now, he's not ready from an in-ring standpoint for the wrestling fundraiser at the VFW, much less the national stage of the WWE.
Sorry for my Sin Cara tangent. I know I was able to go grocery shopping, rotate my tires and read "Of Mice and Men" in the time it took Big Show to get to the top rope and do a Savage elbow. But it was am incredible moment. I dare say that was the "Holy s***" moment of the year from WWE. And of course, the CM Punk moment with Howard Finkel announcing him as new champion was indescribable. I also thought Miz and Truth didn't look weak against Cena & Rock. Rock has never minded trying to make a new star. There were some moments I could have lived without, mostly involving Super Dave Osborne, David Otunga and Matista, the Walking Wellness Violation.
Raw opened as it should have. CM Punk, The Champ, walking to the ring. Punk is just money on the mic. Then Super Dave Osborne killed the atmosphere. CM Punk went off on him. Punk can draw a good segment even out of Super Dave. The fans do not want Super Dave on tv.
They showed footage of The Rock cutting a promo and the crowd chanting "We Want Ryder." Wow. They introduced Zack Ryder and the crowd chanted like he was Stone Cold in 1997. As Ricardo Rodriguez came out to the ring, Zack Ryder grabbed the mic and said "Woo woo woo. You know it." I'm not sure how I feel about this. Two of my favorite personalities going after each other. It was a quick match. Alberto Del Rio destroyed him. I get what the WWE was trying to do here. Getting heel heat on ADR by him beating Ryder. But instead of heat, it just killed the crowd.
Then came out my Team Pasty White idol, Sheamus. He got Jack Swagger. Their match was pretty good. They are both two very good athletes, so if they feud, the matches should be really good. Jack Swagger just makes me mad. And it has nothing to do with the person. I think that if he were in Ring of Honor, he'd be champ. He looks so uncomfortable being a character.
Kevin Nash cut a promo. Nobody cares about Kevin Nash. Kevin Nash doesn't induce heel heat. He doesn't induce any heat. The only thing worse than a hated wrestler is a wrestler people don't care about. That's exactly what Nash is.
Cody Rhodes squashed Santino Marella. Even Michael Cole said, "Thanks for coming, Santino." The commentary was a lot better tonight. Cody Rhodes threw a glass of water at his half-brother's former tag team partner. I like that they're planning on using Booker T to create talent.
Dolph really is the unsung hero of the WWE. It was really probably the biggest match on Raw this year. I feel bad that I couldn't write more detail, but it was great.
Good video package for Kane.
Big Show cut a really decent promo. Very short.
Divas are now being forced to pimp video games. Poor things. Beth looked very boobalicious in that outfit. Sorry, you put that out there, I'm going to look. Sorry, Alicia & AJ.
We then got Wade Barrett squashing Kofi Kingston. Then Randy Orton came out. Kofi Kingston looks lower than Curt Hawkins after this match. But Kofi ended up getting some offense at him.
John Cena talked or something. Then Miz and R-Truth came out. They sounded well. Cena sounded like a 10-year-old trying to rile up the other kids on the playground. He tried to stir up crap between Miz and Truth.
For an hour and a half, this was a really good Raw. And then Cena happened and Awesome Truth were dissolved because... ? I think the ending alone makes it a bad Raw.
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Raw Is Too Long 11-14-11

Tonight was a 3-hour Raw with The Rock or something.
It began with the Michael Cole challenge. There was a really awful arm wrestling. Then we got to see JR dance. Is there anything they won't do to him? At this point, Jim Ross needs to tell the WWE to go f*** themselves. Then the final thing was a weighing contest. Then we are saved by CM Punk who rips into Michael Cole. Finally we have the sanest man in wrestling. Johnny Ace makes a match and Eddie Kingston dies inside. CM Punk is RP McMurphy in the insane asylum.
Mick Foley came out of a limo.
We had a pretty decent tag match. Cody Rhodes and Hunico versus Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston. It was a good solid match. The funniest part was that she had to leave the room because she was on the phone and she got distracted because she likes Sin Cara.
The Rock arrived. My wife's heart fluttered.
Santino pimped the WWE new video game with Zack Ryder.
Vickie Guerrero walked out. Dolph Ziggler would be the new member of Team Barrett.
The Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan took on Dolph Ziggler. Vickie interfered and Dolph was dq'd. As Vickie and Dolph ran, John Morrison threw him back in the ring for some roid rage.
Mick Foley got to do the "Woo woo woo, you know it" thing with Zack Ryder. Then he walked out before the adoring crowd. Foley wants people to cheer John Cena. Then Foley invites John Cena to the ring. They went back to This is Your Life? Foley is one of my favorite all time on the mic. (Punk, Funk, Heyman, Dusty, Flair) Why did they have to have to do something so unoriginal? It was fun seeing Bull Buchanan. Then they brought out John Cena, Sr. I will never complain about Bob Orton Sr. after seeing that travesty.
We got Jack Swagger getting mugged by Sheamus. It wasn't that bad of a match. Swagger now is my cue to play Civilization IV.
The Bellas would rather have Alberto Del Rio than Zack Ryder.
There was a video package of Kelly Kelly's photo shoot. Due to me not being 12, I could care less.
Kelly Kelly pinned Nattie Neidhart in record time. Alicia Fox looked really hot in her dress. But don't worry, AJ, you're still the center of my Divas universe.
Super Dave and ADR argue about something. Matt Striker is standing by with R-Truth and Miz. I think Miz was just wearing random outfits that didn't matter whether they matched or not.
As Punk was walking out to the ring, ADR attacked him. Ugh, why is Punk walking around by himself?
Alberto Del Rio walks out and I just gotta say Ricardo Rodriguez is one of my favorite things on WWE TV. We had ADR/Henry vs. Big Show/Punk. Punk apparently had some spinach or something. He came out and wanted ADR. This made me intrigued with this match for the first time ever. I thought they had some pretty decent things going on in this match. Big Show-Henry was no Chikara action, but I am looking forward to this match. ADR won and then put Punk in the arm breaker. Big Show came to his rescue. Decent build-up.
Santino Marella came out and cut a cute promo. Then Kevin Nash came out; everybody died inside except Jim Cornette. At least it wasn't a big name he destroyed.
Michael Cole was doing the video game hard sell and my wife the nurse pointed out he wasn't even wearing his sling right.
Looks like they're serious about Wade Barrett again. It was a decent match, but it was SO predictable.
Then The Rock came out and rambled. Fortunately for us, with The Rock, it never seems like rambling. Then Miz and Truth came out and held their own against The Rock, and then John Cena came out. They forgot the TV-PG part for a minute. It was just ok for me.
I didn't entirely hate this Raw. The first segment made me want to close my eyes and dream of Chikara. But it went better as time went on. I'm thinking "thumbs in the middle."
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Monday, November 7, 2011

Raw Is During the Eagles 11-7-11

This is probably one of the most tiring weekends of my life. And not only that, Raw is during an Eagles game. We are coming to you delayed from Liverpool. For those of you who don't mind me going into my life, I am a Liverpool FC fan. (YNWA)
We open up Raw with a really great exchange between Cena and Miz/Truth. Once fisticuffs started flying, Zack Ryder came out to his rescue.
We had Dolph Ziggler take on John Morrison as he continued his Future Endeavored Tour. Vickie looked really nice in her outfit. This was a pretty decent match. My wife was not happy over Morrison wearing a shirt. She also did not like the match. It went on too long and they weren't really doing anything (according to her). What I thought was awesome was the crowd cheering for Ziggler. Morrison should have walked out with a Suarez jersey. Morrison snapped his losing streak. I was pleased with the match. It looked like they put some effort into it.
Then came the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan against JTG. I'm still more shocked JTG's on Raw. It was a squash match. Even though I don't like the guy they're pushing, I gotta give them credit. They're trying to make a star. The crowd had no reaction to him whatsoever.
We got a gratuitous "Wrestlemania Will Be Big" package. Then the Bellas supported Zack Ryder. I thought we were supposed to cheer him.
Then we got Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. These titles are so meaningless. I hate that it was the at the tag champ's expense, but they made ADR look strong.
Then Punk came out. And ADR delivered the most scripted promo I've ever heard. He called ADR one-dimensional. About freakin' time. And CM Punk wants the belt and to make the title interesting again. (Wow, did he really just say that?) I think the first hour was pretty good overall. The WWE "Creative" Team needs to come up with something else for Del Rio to say other than "This is my destiny."
Then we watch the Muppets recap. Then we get the ridiculously stale Jack Swagger rematching against Santino Marella. Swagger won. Yawn.
Kelly Kelly is on the cover of Maxim. We all die a little on the inside. Please watchSHIMMER. They have real women's wrestling. This segment was so awful. Kelly Kelly should never be given a microphone again.
Then we got Super Dave Osborne introducing Kevin Nash. Nash, for everything that's wrong with him being an active part of the WWE product in 2011, is great on the mic. I still haven't figured out where this is going.
Super Dave and David Otunga are courting or something. Then Otunga makes fun of Punk, Punk goes after him and then ADR attacks him.
Then we got the Cena/Ryder-Awesome Truth main events. I want to be mad for yet ANOTHER Raw with Cena as the main event. But can I be mad that we Zack Ryder in the main event? They turned this into a good match. Miz pinned John Cena. Yeah, I just typed that.
I will give this show credit. The first hour was very solid and I thought the main event did a great job of building Awesome Truth and Zack Ryder. Yeaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
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