Monday, December 26, 2011

Raw is Boxing Day 12-26-11

Happy Boxing Day to you and yours. My wife made my grandmother's recipe of macaroni and cheese tonight, so I am a very happy man. I am also coming off my post-Christmas holiday. I spent today watching the King of the Deathmatch Tournament from IWA-MidSouth II from 2011. I will simply say that I have never called anything garbage wrestling, but that was it. There were some good names there like MASADA & BJ Whitmer, but it was pretty awful. They had the stereo-typical "gay" character who set wrestling back 20 years. The announcer did nothing but imitate Joey Styles and even used insider terms. And they had no idea of the progression of matches. Every match was so hardcore, by the time you got to the main event, there was no "Holy s***, this is the main event" moment. Sometimes, you watch a promotion and think, "Hm, I'd like to see them again." This was so bad, I don't think I'll be getting this year's KOTDM Tournament.
But enough of a retread. They opened up in Chicago (in CM Punk's hometown) with CM Punk's music. Out came Johnny Ace dressed in CM Punk's outfit. He tried to make a guantlet match featuring CM Punk. Then Punk tried to get Ace to accept a match with him. Groan... Punk was just missing something. Really can't put my finger on it.
Booker T is wrestling Cody Rhodes. Again. I ended up not seeing TLC, but wasn't I just supposed to pay money for this? It just seems like we're getting the same matches over and over and over again. They are not squash matches if the loser looks like they have a chance of winning. The WWE product is so repetitive that there's no newness to their matches. Booker T won. As glad as I am to see him win, why did we have to watch that?
Zack Ryder is thanking John Cena. All along Zack Ryder had it in himself.
Kelly Kelly and Big Show are hawking an app of some kind. Then Scotty Armstrong tells Big Show that Johnny Ace needs him now!
So Big Show punched David Otunga on Smackdown. Then Show said he could beat Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I guess they are watching old nWo footage. Now Dolph and Swagger are arguing. It was pretty fun until the Planet of the Apes comment. That just sounded so 10-year-old on the playground. Ugh, just soooooooo bad.
Eve an Zack Ryder come out to the ring. They seemed to get pretty decent crowd reactions. Then there was Tyson Kidd and Nattie Neidhart. It was actually not too bad of a match. I think the referee fell out of the ring as he was making the 3rd count. How botchariffic.
Cena came out and cut a really forced promo praising the city of Chicago. He called out Kane and got The Miz. Miz wanted Cena. Cena accepted. A few minutes into the match, Miz couldn't handle that people weren't chanting for him. So he cuts a promo on Chicago and gets counted out. Are you f***ing kidding me? As he's done, we get the R-Truth return. I really liked his return.
We were saved from the retro nWo match by Big Show. It was short and painless. Mark Henry came out. Daniel Bryan came out. Then it was just Big Show and David Otunga in the ring. He channeled The Giant of old and did a chokeslam like he'd just joined the nWo all over again.
Then Alberto Del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He told us all that he had a torn groin. Then the fans laughed. Classy. Then the Bellas got to fight over who could throw a party to help him recover. Awful.
Swagger jobbed first. Then he attacked Punk to wear him down for Ziggler. I liked Punk and Ziggler's work. Ace stopped the match, distracted Punk and then Ziggler pinned Punk. What a good opportunity for Ziggler. No hate over getting to watch those two. Just that I watched this match not too long ago.
AAA's El Zorro  Kane is walking to the ring. He starts explaining and Cena's music hit. Kane cut a very nice promo explaining why he attacked Cena. He wanted Cena to give in to the hate. I thought Kane delivered his lines very well. I just felt like I was watching Empire Strikes Back.
Overall, I'd have to say this was an awful Raw. There was nothing that got my attention for this show. The most exciting thing was R-Truth's return. Remember yesterday when the Mavericks stunk up their home court? Let's say the fans start booing Dirk. Does he get on the mic and ask how dare they boo him? That's what we got with the Miz. It was uninspired, outright insulting and nothing worth seeing.
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Monday, December 19, 2011

Raw is Before Christmas 12-19-11

I remember Wrestlemania XX. That was the night that Chris Benoit won the title in the main event and then was greeted by Eddie Guerrero who had defended the other title that night. Very few times in my wrestling watching experience have I ever teared up not involving a death. That moment was one. Those of us in the IWC felt like we all had a moment. OUR two darlings were champs.
Last night was another one of those nights. Our two indy darlings-CM Punk and Daniel Bryan-finished the night as champions of both brands. Now I’m not in some disillusioned world where I think WWE is going to magically turn into Ring of Honor. I’d just be happy to have some exciting, risky booking that means something. Punk and Bryan are people that we can care about. With the right booking, we can see them remain good champions.
We opened it up with a drum roll and Punk introducing himself. Punk got a really good reaction. Then they introduced Zack Ryder who got such a good reaction. And then they introduced Daniel Bryan who got another huge reaction. Punk, Bryan and Ryder all began in the ring to start the show. Daniel Bryan had a lot of fire. They were interrupted by Miz, Ziggler & Del Rio. This segment would have been perfect had it not been for Michael Cole's sheepish bleating he calls announcing. And the Johnny Ace came out to kill the segment. Actually, considering he has no voice, it was a pretty good segment.
I saw Richard Lewis do comedy live once. It was every bit as awesome as I thought it could be.
We were treated to Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett, which I'm glad I didn't pay $44.95 for. Randy Orton is a 9-time World's Champion. It amazes me how little titles mean in the WWE. Wade Barrett put Orton through a table. Had no idea of what happened. I thought the work was very solid.
Then Alicia Fox was wearing one of Mario's fur hats or something. Then she pinned Beth Phoenix in record time. Then she wanted me to have a Foxy holiday. I really want to have a Foxy holiday. I will now ask my wife.
Excuse me. I need to get up and get some ice for my jaw. Out comes Sheamus wearing the next t-shirt I will buy once Johnny Ace is off tv. And now we have Jinder Mahal? Sheamus killed him. That is as it should be.
John Cena came out to the ring and talked to his confidant The Cameraman. He is again Shiny Happy Cena. That's normal for anybody who Kane attacks. (<-sarcasm font) Mark Henry interrupted him and had some nice focus. Then Kane came out in El Zorro's mask. He destroys Cena. Him not being Super Cena is good for long-run Cena. Cena had some good facials. Well-done.
We got Primo & Epico vs. the Usos. Do we have a tag team division? It was a well-crafted tag match. I could really get behind this feud.
Then Cody Rhodes cuts a pretty decent promo and was interrupted by Santino. He then beat Santino. Santino does a lot of things right. He is very good at selling and getting himself over in his role.
They showed a recap of Tribute for the Troops which they used as an excuse to pimp out their PPV. That was when I stopped watching last week.
The Bellas are again backstage with Johnny Ace. The Vicki tried to schedule a rematch and ended up getting kissed by Hornswoggle. Cute. Then we had an interview with Zack Ryder's... dad? Big Show gave a very honest, in-depth interview.
This was such an awesome moment. Daniel Bryan and CM Punk both came out of the crowd. For the first time since Summerslam, I actually feel like the WWE is giving me what I want. This is quite possibly the best match on Raw this year.
A good Raw, except for one glaring minus-Michael Cole. If WWE actually spent their time listening to their fans on Twitter, rather than shoving it down our throats, they would know how much he hurts their product. I'm definitely not deceiving myself that this will be permanent, but this has been a great Christmas present.
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Monday, December 12, 2011

My Wrestling Christmas List

John Laryngitis-an off-screen role (ONLY)
John Cena-intensity
Alberto Del Rio-a promo that does not use the word “destiny”
WWE Creative Team-creativity
Divas-real women wrestlers and more than two minutes for matches (must be both; don’t do one or the other)
Dolph Ziggler-a main event push
Goldust-likability on Twitter
Jack Swagger-a role where he never has to talk and where he is pushed like a monster
Rey Jr.-new knees
Sin Cara-a new guy behind the mask
Hunico-a gimmick not currently being used by Impact's Hernandez
Jim Ross-never to be humiliated in Oklahoma on TV again
Kevin Nash-relevance
Mick Foley-see Kevin Nash
Hogan & Bischoff-a repeat of Bash at the Beach where he's given his walking papers
Impact-stop pushing the old guys at the expense of the new generation & a product that I consider watchable
All Night Xpress-a tag title run
Kyle O’Reilly, Tommaso Ciampa, Caprice Coleman, El Generico, Grizzly Redwood, Willie Mack-pushes to the moon
Matt Palmer, ACH, Athena-a chance on a national stage
Gregory Iron-a shot in the WWE; there are so many stories to be told there; unlike Eugene, you could have a bonifide handicap wrestler that the WWE fans would genuinely go for
Ring of Honor-a show in Dallas… please
Sara Del Rey, Cherry Bomb, Eric Ryan, Rickey Shane Page, Fa├žade, Marion Fontaine, Tim Donst, Johnny Gargano, Aeroform, Portia Perez, Mad Man Pondo, Sugar Dunkerton-a match in the Dallas area

Monday, December 5, 2011

Raw Is Making Me Yearn For Dragon Gate 12-5-11

Sources are now saying WWE is working on their network and is planning on launching it the day of Wrestlemania. So if you think Twitter, has been pushed down our throats, get ready. You have seen nothing yet.
Last night, I got to finish my first Dragon Gate USA match and had my life irrevocably changed. Something tells me things are going to seem worse because I have watched a match that will now be in my top 20 of all time. I also had the chance to see a really fun MPX show this weekend, so I’m still reeling off that. Maybe tonight I will watch wrestling as a diversion, which is exactly what it should be. If it’s painful, I may find myself going on Twitter and mocking it with my “tweeps.” Sometimes that makes it more entertaining than the show itself. I guess it’s because I do love wrestling so much that I want WWE to succeed and be good.
Sorry for my rant. Here is Monday Night Raw.
We start off with John Cena. The crowd is pretty mixed for him. Cena cut a pretty decent promo. And then we had Alberto Del Rio interrupt him. And then Cena went into 10-year-old-kid at the playground mode. Alberto Del Rio have footage of why he deserved a title shot. Then Vickie Guerrero interrupted the promo. Dolph Ziggler is in the main event mix? Cena tried to have a certain edge in his promo. It just sounded like a 10-year-old trying to cuss. Then the Miz came out. I hate to say this, but Miz' swagger showed that the other three were not on his level. I liked the edgier direction they took this promo. Then Johnny Ace took the mic and could barely remember his lines. Then Ace set up Miz-Randy Orton.
Randy Orton vs. Miz was a pretty decent match. It had a good intensity. Wade Barrett came out and distracted Orton when Miz slithered back into the ring to get the win by countout. Made Miz look good without Orton losing. I'm liking Orton's work, which is a compliment since I don't really like him. I'm also liking the Orton-Barrett feud.
Zack Ryder is talking to Johnny Ace about how great the WWE Network looks. I guess a human being wasn't available.  Then John Cena shows up shilling some merchandise. Johnny Ace makes a match. Zack Ryder vs. John Cena. Ryder gets a US title shot if he wins. Cena gets into the title match if he wins. Interesting.
David Otunga tells Kevin Nash he will face HHH in a ladder match with a sledgehammer. I think Viscera would have a better ladder match than Kevin Nash. And now Kevin Nash gets to destroy some upstart's career.
We got Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan. It wasn't much of a match. Bryan was still coming off his rib injury so he was out to do the glorified job. I don't think he lost too much.
We got Eve & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Nattie. It is nice to know we haven't seen that match before (<-sarcasm font). My wife heckled their work. That's bad.
Then we got John Cena vs. Zack Ryder. I'm intrigued to see where this will go. John Cena beat him without killing him too badly. So the WWE is going to work on building John Cena by having him beat the most popular wrestler in the company.
John Cena had a lot of fire for his backstage promo with Johnny Ace. He gave up his title shot for Zack Ryder to get another chance. That is a good step in rebuilding John Cena.
Zack Ryder got Mark Henry. Ouch. Ryder sold like Shawn Michaels. Then John Cena comes out and does an Attitude Adjustment and has Ryder cover Henry. Strange. Ryder beat Henry but was not put over.
Nash walked down to the ring in record time. He killed Santino.
For the main event, I got Dolph Ziggler-Sheamus. Ryder interfered and Sheamus ended up getting the win. In some ways I think Dolph Ziggler is this generation's Mr. Perfect. And that is NOT a name I use lightly.
Then there was a contract signing. CM Punk came out and cut some major promos. Miz has so much fire. The fans are rejecting Alberto Del Rio. Then there was some major battling that went on.
All in all... Pretty decent Raw. I like the edgy inside stuff. They seemed to be focused.
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