Monday, April 23, 2012

Raw Is Three Hours 4-23-12

We begin with the contract signing being set up. John Cena comes out talking to his favorite cameraman, and then Johnny Ace breaks up Brock's music to tell Teddy Long that Brock isn't in the building yet. Then Edge comes to the ring much to the enjoyment of the fans. Then Edge cuts the promo we've all been waiting for. That got the crowd chanting "Cena, Cena, Cena." Every wrestler should have been huddled around the monitor watching it. That's how it's done.
We get Jericho in all his glittery sparkliness. And then we got Kofi in all his Enhancement Talent to the Stars glory. Kofi was great. Dolph is the most under-appreciated wrestler in the WWE. But I think Kofi Kingston has to be the most under-appreciated babyface. This was a great match. I don't use the word "great" very often, but this was everything you would think it could be.
Johnny Ace names Eve something that gives her more dialogue. Ugh.
They replayed the really excellent Brock promo. I fast-forwarded. I'm pretty sure he's still an a**wipe.
Jericho got CM Punk a liquor basket. Predictable.
We got more R-Truth. May I say that R-Truth has quickly become my guilty pleasure in wrestling? He is going to fight The Sultan outfit, who is now being portrayed by the Hip Hop Hippo, Albert. I think they're trying with Lord Tensai so I should give them credit. R-Truth got in some offense so it wasn't a total squash. He did the green mist, which means I'm going to hear every "smart" wrestling fan argue that Albert stole that from Tajiri (when we all know he stole that from MsChif).
Kane walks out wearing El Zorro's mask. He cut the decent promo he always cuts. Then Randy Orton interrupts to show he has Kane's father Paul Bearer bound and gagged in the back. He shoves him into a freezer. This is the second time he will be killed on tv. The two beat the living crap out of each other.
Alex Riley tells Jericho that CM Punk is drinking alcohol in the back. Jericho follows him to crack open the door and sure enough, Punk is drinking from a Red Solo Cup. Jericho, I think you just looked like 1990 Sting.
Alberto del Rio comes out to the best ring entrance in the WWE. He is teaming up with Cody Rhodes, I guess, because they both exist. And they are wrestling Big Show and Great Khali for the same reason. I think I need to say I am enjoying this phase of the Big Show's career. Nothing will ever beat 1996 The Giant in my eyes, but I think the evolution of the Big Show is night and day. I think this was quite possibly the best match these 4 could have had.
And just as I feared. They gave Eve dialogue. Punk can be suspended because he drank in a 12-hour period. I cannot even begin to describe how ridiculously insulting this is to my intelligence.
Brock Lesnar annihilates Josh Matthews.
We're supposed to have Beth Phoenix vs. a Bella. And because the divas do nothing, they make it a Lumberjill match. It was actually not a bad match. They gave the women some time and they used it well. The Bella won.
We got to watch CM Punk take a field sobriety test. It was everything you'd expect. According to the cop in the ring, Punk failed the sobriety test. Then Punk had to give the belt to Punk to give to Teddy. And then Punk recited the alphabet live. We even got a Ric Flair strut. Not my favorite thing but I will live.
Sheamus got Mark Henry. And Daniel Bryan was named special guest referee. The crowd is going rather nuts for him. It was a short match with Sheamus being pinned by Mark Henry with a (lightning) fast count. This night has been GREAT build-up for Extreme Rules.
Primo and Epico are wrestling Zack Ryder and Santino because they exist too. This was another pretty good match. Ryder and Santino won. So I guess tag champ makes you first jobber.
Kane takes Paul Bearer out of the freezer to put him back in. So now he can kill him just like his brother did.
Abraham Washington gives his card to the Latino 3.
Funkasaurus and Hornswoggle took on Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. It wasn't a bad match.
Then there was the contract signing which went on forever.
A really good Raw again. Work was first-rate. Matches seemed a little fresh.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Raw Is British 4-16-2012

I know. Raw is taped tonight. So is Mad Men. It's still good. Here's to hoping that we continue the hot streak.
We start off the night with CM Punk and Mark Henry (who is already in the ring?). The crowd was hot and engaged already. This was a good big man-little man match. Both guys really brought it. And Punk had to go to a crazy place to get the win. Then Jericho went back and forth for a bit. Jericho had a video where he showed Punk going into a pub. Apparently that means he was drinking.
Santino and Otunga had a match. It was painless. Please nobody ask Otunga to take a blood test. I think he might end up pregnant.
The Brock interview I think went pretty well. I really liked it.
Kane killed Zack Ryder. Then he called out Orton.
John Cena came out and delivered a really good spot-on promo. And then Johnny Ace came out. Cena was going to have a secret opponent. I was hoping for the return of Berzerker.
We got Kofi vs. Daniel Bryan. Tonight on Facebook, somebody called Daniel Bryan the most over face in the WWE. Too bad the WWE wants him to be a heel. It was a really good match. Daniel Bryan could cut a newborn kitten's throat on live tv and the fans would chant, "One more time."
Eve is having a one-on-one with Johnny Ace. Poor Johnny.
Great Khali. Because you know, the people haven't been through enough. Khali was going to be teaming up with Big Show. They got to face the Colons. It was a great squash match. Too bad it was up against the tag champs.
John Cena comes out and has a mystery opponent-Lord Tensai. It wasn't a bad match all things considered. Tensai walked away with a win.
All in all... Not a bad Raw. There were still some moments that left me scratching my head. But they seem to have a purpose, so it can't be that bad, right?

Monday, April 9, 2012

Raw is Coming Pain 4-9-2012

Last week was perhaps one of the greatest Raws in history. How do you follow it up? I'm very concerned because I believe that the WWE is really good at having a good episode. But a streak of good episodes is something all together different.
We begin with a promo about the Three Stooges. Johnny Ace comes out with his lackey David Otunga. He said that David Otunga is not here to entertain us. I was so relieved because if he were supposed to entertain us, he's doing a very bad job. Johnny Ace plays a video package and then introduces Brock Lesnar. I'm a little disappointed they're letting him speak yet, but ok. Brock doesn't need Paul Heyman this time. He cut the best promos in the UFC (aside from Chael Sonnen). He was the man you loved to hate and was so good being that villain. Cena slapped Brock and then Brock did the takedown. They brought out ALL the wrestlers. It took the entire roster to separate both men. And Brock bloodied John Cena's mouth.
Johnny Ace is humiliating Teddy Long. Please. That man once managed Jim Powers in WCW. He is beyond humiliation. Now Eve wants her some Ace Crusher and he isn't having it.
We had a nice match that happened way too early. This crowd was not last week's crowd but the match was pretty decent. Santino did the face in peril to perfection. And the match was really well put together. Dolph bumped like Shawn Michaels in 1994. Funkasaurus got the pin.
Santino is looking for the Three Stooges. Why not?
R-Truth is taking on Cody Rhodes. So apparently he's doing the Brian Pillman "wear a dress until he wins" thing.
Sean Hayes was on Raw. That was surreal.
Yoshi Tatsu got killed by Lord Tensai. At least they aren't trying to pretend A-Train never existed. Then he did the claw on Yoshi again. It seems they are focused.
They continued the CM Punk-Jericho feud. Punk cut a promo. It wasn't up to the caliber of  the usual Punk promo. But it was real and emotional. Then Jericho appeared on the screen.  Then Punk lit up. It was a thing of beauty. There was genuine fire. And then they killed any possible emotion by bringing out Mark Henry. Punk got dq'ed, mostly on purpose. Then Mark Henry did the beatdown followed by Punk getting a beer-bath.
Zack Ryder got squashed by Alberto del Rio. I do have to say that Ryder did a really great job of bumping for him.
They did a really cute segment with Will Sasso (Curly) doing Hulk Hogan. Then Kane came out squashed him.
Brock did an interview. He has always been a great villain wherever he's gone.
David Otunga was in a main event (which made me cry a little, to be honest). They just really need to stop pushing guys this big. Lesnar came in and gave Cena a low blow. Then he had the most sadistic smile ever. EVER.
This was another pretty good Raw. The wrestling wasn't that great, but the angles were pretty good. They look focused. I want to see Extreme Rules more than I wanted to see Wrestlemania.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Raw is Post-Wrestlemania 4-2-2012

The night after Wrestlemania. The debut of Mankind, Brock Lesnar. The season premiere that will begin the story that will climax at Wrestlemania 29. It begins tonight.
Johnny Ace begins begins with a new era. He sets up a match for Santino vs. Ziggler vs. Swagger. Punk smarts off to him and heckles Ace. Ace puts him in a match against Mark Henry. The new theme in his era is Power People.
Rock came out. The crowd was electric chanting "Boots to Asses" & "You still have it." Rock came out and did his thing. It was everything it needed to be.
The first match was Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Santino. This match was just kind of there for me. But Santino beat both. As Swagger and Ziggler beat on Santino after the match, Santino ran up the ramp and was saved by Brodus Clay. Ziggler charged Brodus Clay and took a crazy bump on the ramp. Ziggler is the most underrated wrestler in the business.
We had the debut of Lord Tensai. The crowd chanted A-Train at the top of their lungs. I was hoping they would chant "Hip Hop Hippo." Alex Riley began his Future Endeavored Tour. I liked the debut of the Tensai character. And of course, Larry Stanley died when he saw "The Claw." It reminded me of a early 90's monster. Let's see where they go with him.
So Punk-Henry was not the same match he had with Daniel Bryan. It was as good a match as Mark Henry is capable of having. This was such a good match. Both guys really brought it. It ended in a countout. I love the booking as this sets up Mark Henry as credible again. Jericho comes out of the crowd and says that after that beating, he and Punk need a drink. What happened to them has to be seen to be believed.
Sheamus came out to celebrate and then Alberto del Rio's music hit. Ricardo Rodriguez started up and the crowd went nuts. For Daniel Bryan. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio delivered their lines and went through their motions all the while ignoring that the crowd was cheering someone else. Rock, Austin, Foley, Flair, Piper, those men would have never let a crowd get away with that.
We came back to get Cody vs. Kofi. Big Show came out to show Cody losing. I thought the story they told was very entertaining. Kofi got a nice win.
Abraham Washington gave Mark Henry his card. I'm not sure it was him or Teddy Long in a timewarp.
Eve cut a promo that was not horrible.
The main event was Miz vs. Ryder.
John Cena came out cut a promo on The Rock. The crowd was chanting for Lesnar at the top of their lungs. And then they got him. F5 on John Cena.
I have been watching Raw for the past year pretty much consecutively. This has been the best Raw in ages. 90% of that was the crowd. But the work was great. Lesnar coming back was perhaps one of the most electric things I've ever seen.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Raw is Pre Wrestlemania-3-26-12

There are fewer bigger nights than this. Wrestlemania is the event that all events are measured by. This is the WWE's second-to-last chance to get us to want to buy Wrestlemania.
We begin with a tag match, Orton/Sheamus vs. Bryan/Kane. This match (shoot, this whole Raw) had one purpose-to get us to buy Wrestlemania. I like that they kept opponents separate. Heel Daniel Bryan was pretty impressive for me. I also like his commitment. There is no hesitation from him. The crowd seemed to be really hot and into a lot of the match. Commentary was also very strong. AJ got involved in the match and Bryan/Kane won. What a great first match.
They did a really fun segment/match with Johnny Ace coming out first. Then he introduced his flag-bearer Vickie Guerrero and his team captain David Otunga. Booker T introduced Teddy Long's flag-bearer Hornswoggle and team captain Santino Marella. As with all good David Otunga matches, it was short. As the match ended Miz did the beatdown and was announced as a member of Team Johnny.
Eve killed Kelly Kelly. In other news, Beth Phoenix looked really hot in that dress. I was wrong. Kelly Kelly is now Super Cena with breasts.
Christian walks out solidifying that he and Jack Swagger have a bad haircut contest. Then out comes Punk to reveal Jericho on the screen. He revealed that Punk was illegitimate. Then Christian attacked him which sent my wife into a tirade about his hair. My wife even liked the match enough to tell me. What a beatdown. Punk has snapped!
Ah, yes. Nothing says focused for Wrestlemania quite like Brodus Clay. Curt Hawkins is on his way to your local Lions Club to put over Johnny Attitude. In his defense, Hawkins sold well.
Big Show killed Primo. Remember when tag team champs weren't jobbers? Cody Rhodes cut a really good promo.
The Bellas demolish dialogue. So Zack Ryder's gimmick is that he says stupid things to women. At least they had a focus for Wrestlemania.
Great Khali fought Mark Henry in a match no one wanted to see. It was short and very painless. They had a face off and Booker T came to Teddy's rescue. So Booker gets his Wrestlemania payday.
Rock and Cena had their final stand-off. Rock sounded like he needed to work on his material in front of a live crowd. His monologue was awful. Then he was met by Cena. Rock has always put over talent. Shoot, he lost to Hurricane once. Now he has put Cena over verbally.
It ended up being a really good Raw. They were focused and everything (except for Clay) seemed to be building towards a Wrestlemania. I'm ready for Wrestlemania. Bring it on.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Raw is Personal 3-19-12

Well, I'd like to write some introduction but for some reason I got home late and it just didn't quite happen. So I will get right in to Raw.
CM Punk opened it up talking about his dad being an alcoholic and how his dad had worked really hard to overcome and recover. Chris Jericho appeared on the screen and apologized for bringing up Punk's father. Now his sister on the other hand... Punk fed off him and they had a really strong build-up.
Big Show and Kane had a match or something. It was a back drop for Cody Rhodes to build up his and Big Show's match. As the ambush happened, Cody handcuffed Big Show and went after him. Really strong build-up.
They continued the build-up of Teddy Long-Johnny Ace by David Otunga facing Santino Marella. They started with a posedown. I gotta admit I popped for the Santino posedown.
Rock talked a long time.
Daniel Bryan squashed Zack Ryder.
John Cena took quite the beating at the hands of Mark Henry.  But he won and The Rock did his move on Henry.
Miz cuts a great promo. He puts out an open challenge and gets Sheamus. I really like how they are pointing out the way they're not putting over Miz' lack of Wrestlemania match.
I still think that Randy Orton and Kane seem last-minute, but I like that they're giving it meaning.
We go from anti-bullying to Vickie Guerrero getting booed out of the building for having an annoying voice.
We get Swagger and Ziggler vs. Truth & Kofi. It was pretty good build-up. Though I believe all 4 of those should have singles runs, I'm happy they have spots and places. Though I hate Swagger's character, the guy is a natural athlete and would kill in a world like Ring of Honor or Japan.
Then we had the 3-way confrontation. Shawn Michaels was the first. Then out came the Undertaker. Then out came HHH. They had a nice exchange, but it just wasn't quite there.
Tonight's Raw was pretty decent. You had a lot of really good buildup and it made me want to see Wrestlemania a bit more.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Raw is Tired and Cranky 3-12-12

Raw may not be tired and cranky, but I sure am. Time changes, days at work and being accused (wrongly) of stealing by one of my heroes.
A lot of the AIW people I follow on Twitter are saying that Cleveland is a packed house.
John Cena opens up in a Mark Price jersey channeling old John Cena that we fell in love with.
Vickie took the mic and cut a great promo. But then again, I've never heard a bad Vickie Guerrero promo. Sheamus took on Dolph Ziggler. I've used the Mr. Perfect comparison before for Ziggler and I stand by it. It was a long good match.
I am going to rip the WWE in a future blog several new ones for the abusive storyline. It has no place in wrestling.
Johnny Ace is doing commentary. It was going to be Santino vs. David Otunga. Then it became Mark Henry. Now we have a squash of the US Champ.
WWE got publicity. And Eve has large fake breasts. And Zack Ryder is more stupid than anyone I've ever met. Beth Phoenix wants to attack Maria M. on Extra. I'm too lazy to google her name to get it right. Miz is on Psych. James Roday is on Raw. Is Psych that much in the toilet?
We get the return of Brodus Clay. This is the greatest Jinder Mahal match I've ever seen. Even WCW's The Gambler got in more offense.
HBK comes out to talk to Undertaker. Undertaker takes longer to walk to the ring than Jinder Mahal's match. They had a really nice exchange, but neither really said anything.
James Roday made an ass out of himself, but he looked like he was living a life-long dream. Punk and Miz fought a pretty decent match. Then Chris Jericho took the mic and proved why he's Chris Mother-effin' Jericho.
Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry couldn't quit going to his current barber and had a little boy's hair cut? That's what Jack Swagger looks like. However, he and Orton had a pretty good match.
Then Rock sang. He looks like he enjoys himself out there. And you had to love the Vanilla Ice + Teletubbies reference. Honestly this was one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen on wrestling tv in a long time.
All in all, a good Raw. I would say most things should be watched.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.