Monday, April 23, 2012

Raw Is Three Hours 4-23-12

We begin with the contract signing being set up. John Cena comes out talking to his favorite cameraman, and then Johnny Ace breaks up Brock's music to tell Teddy Long that Brock isn't in the building yet. Then Edge comes to the ring much to the enjoyment of the fans. Then Edge cuts the promo we've all been waiting for. That got the crowd chanting "Cena, Cena, Cena." Every wrestler should have been huddled around the monitor watching it. That's how it's done.
We get Jericho in all his glittery sparkliness. And then we got Kofi in all his Enhancement Talent to the Stars glory. Kofi was great. Dolph is the most under-appreciated wrestler in the WWE. But I think Kofi Kingston has to be the most under-appreciated babyface. This was a great match. I don't use the word "great" very often, but this was everything you would think it could be.
Johnny Ace names Eve something that gives her more dialogue. Ugh.
They replayed the really excellent Brock promo. I fast-forwarded. I'm pretty sure he's still an a**wipe.
Jericho got CM Punk a liquor basket. Predictable.
We got more R-Truth. May I say that R-Truth has quickly become my guilty pleasure in wrestling? He is going to fight The Sultan outfit, who is now being portrayed by the Hip Hop Hippo, Albert. I think they're trying with Lord Tensai so I should give them credit. R-Truth got in some offense so it wasn't a total squash. He did the green mist, which means I'm going to hear every "smart" wrestling fan argue that Albert stole that from Tajiri (when we all know he stole that from MsChif).
Kane walks out wearing El Zorro's mask. He cut the decent promo he always cuts. Then Randy Orton interrupts to show he has Kane's father Paul Bearer bound and gagged in the back. He shoves him into a freezer. This is the second time he will be killed on tv. The two beat the living crap out of each other.
Alex Riley tells Jericho that CM Punk is drinking alcohol in the back. Jericho follows him to crack open the door and sure enough, Punk is drinking from a Red Solo Cup. Jericho, I think you just looked like 1990 Sting.
Alberto del Rio comes out to the best ring entrance in the WWE. He is teaming up with Cody Rhodes, I guess, because they both exist. And they are wrestling Big Show and Great Khali for the same reason. I think I need to say I am enjoying this phase of the Big Show's career. Nothing will ever beat 1996 The Giant in my eyes, but I think the evolution of the Big Show is night and day. I think this was quite possibly the best match these 4 could have had.
And just as I feared. They gave Eve dialogue. Punk can be suspended because he drank in a 12-hour period. I cannot even begin to describe how ridiculously insulting this is to my intelligence.
Brock Lesnar annihilates Josh Matthews.
We're supposed to have Beth Phoenix vs. a Bella. And because the divas do nothing, they make it a Lumberjill match. It was actually not a bad match. They gave the women some time and they used it well. The Bella won.
We got to watch CM Punk take a field sobriety test. It was everything you'd expect. According to the cop in the ring, Punk failed the sobriety test. Then Punk had to give the belt to Punk to give to Teddy. And then Punk recited the alphabet live. We even got a Ric Flair strut. Not my favorite thing but I will live.
Sheamus got Mark Henry. And Daniel Bryan was named special guest referee. The crowd is going rather nuts for him. It was a short match with Sheamus being pinned by Mark Henry with a (lightning) fast count. This night has been GREAT build-up for Extreme Rules.
Primo and Epico are wrestling Zack Ryder and Santino because they exist too. This was another pretty good match. Ryder and Santino won. So I guess tag champ makes you first jobber.
Kane takes Paul Bearer out of the freezer to put him back in. So now he can kill him just like his brother did.
Abraham Washington gives his card to the Latino 3.
Funkasaurus and Hornswoggle took on Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. It wasn't a bad match.
Then there was the contract signing which went on forever.
A really good Raw again. Work was first-rate. Matches seemed a little fresh.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Raw Is British 4-16-2012

I know. Raw is taped tonight. So is Mad Men. It's still good. Here's to hoping that we continue the hot streak.
We start off the night with CM Punk and Mark Henry (who is already in the ring?). The crowd was hot and engaged already. This was a good big man-little man match. Both guys really brought it. And Punk had to go to a crazy place to get the win. Then Jericho went back and forth for a bit. Jericho had a video where he showed Punk going into a pub. Apparently that means he was drinking.
Santino and Otunga had a match. It was painless. Please nobody ask Otunga to take a blood test. I think he might end up pregnant.
The Brock interview I think went pretty well. I really liked it.
Kane killed Zack Ryder. Then he called out Orton.
John Cena came out and delivered a really good spot-on promo. And then Johnny Ace came out. Cena was going to have a secret opponent. I was hoping for the return of Berzerker.
We got Kofi vs. Daniel Bryan. Tonight on Facebook, somebody called Daniel Bryan the most over face in the WWE. Too bad the WWE wants him to be a heel. It was a really good match. Daniel Bryan could cut a newborn kitten's throat on live tv and the fans would chant, "One more time."
Eve is having a one-on-one with Johnny Ace. Poor Johnny.
Great Khali. Because you know, the people haven't been through enough. Khali was going to be teaming up with Big Show. They got to face the Colons. It was a great squash match. Too bad it was up against the tag champs.
John Cena comes out and has a mystery opponent-Lord Tensai. It wasn't a bad match all things considered. Tensai walked away with a win.
All in all... Not a bad Raw. There were still some moments that left me scratching my head. But they seem to have a purpose, so it can't be that bad, right?

Monday, April 9, 2012

Raw is Coming Pain 4-9-2012

Last week was perhaps one of the greatest Raws in history. How do you follow it up? I'm very concerned because I believe that the WWE is really good at having a good episode. But a streak of good episodes is something all together different.
We begin with a promo about the Three Stooges. Johnny Ace comes out with his lackey David Otunga. He said that David Otunga is not here to entertain us. I was so relieved because if he were supposed to entertain us, he's doing a very bad job. Johnny Ace plays a video package and then introduces Brock Lesnar. I'm a little disappointed they're letting him speak yet, but ok. Brock doesn't need Paul Heyman this time. He cut the best promos in the UFC (aside from Chael Sonnen). He was the man you loved to hate and was so good being that villain. Cena slapped Brock and then Brock did the takedown. They brought out ALL the wrestlers. It took the entire roster to separate both men. And Brock bloodied John Cena's mouth.
Johnny Ace is humiliating Teddy Long. Please. That man once managed Jim Powers in WCW. He is beyond humiliation. Now Eve wants her some Ace Crusher and he isn't having it.
We had a nice match that happened way too early. This crowd was not last week's crowd but the match was pretty decent. Santino did the face in peril to perfection. And the match was really well put together. Dolph bumped like Shawn Michaels in 1994. Funkasaurus got the pin.
Santino is looking for the Three Stooges. Why not?
R-Truth is taking on Cody Rhodes. So apparently he's doing the Brian Pillman "wear a dress until he wins" thing.
Sean Hayes was on Raw. That was surreal.
Yoshi Tatsu got killed by Lord Tensai. At least they aren't trying to pretend A-Train never existed. Then he did the claw on Yoshi again. It seems they are focused.
They continued the CM Punk-Jericho feud. Punk cut a promo. It wasn't up to the caliber of  the usual Punk promo. But it was real and emotional. Then Jericho appeared on the screen.  Then Punk lit up. It was a thing of beauty. There was genuine fire. And then they killed any possible emotion by bringing out Mark Henry. Punk got dq'ed, mostly on purpose. Then Mark Henry did the beatdown followed by Punk getting a beer-bath.
Zack Ryder got squashed by Alberto del Rio. I do have to say that Ryder did a really great job of bumping for him.
They did a really cute segment with Will Sasso (Curly) doing Hulk Hogan. Then Kane came out squashed him.
Brock did an interview. He has always been a great villain wherever he's gone.
David Otunga was in a main event (which made me cry a little, to be honest). They just really need to stop pushing guys this big. Lesnar came in and gave Cena a low blow. Then he had the most sadistic smile ever. EVER.
This was another pretty good Raw. The wrestling wasn't that great, but the angles were pretty good. They look focused. I want to see Extreme Rules more than I wanted to see Wrestlemania.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Raw is Post-Wrestlemania 4-2-2012

The night after Wrestlemania. The debut of Mankind, Brock Lesnar. The season premiere that will begin the story that will climax at Wrestlemania 29. It begins tonight.
Johnny Ace begins begins with a new era. He sets up a match for Santino vs. Ziggler vs. Swagger. Punk smarts off to him and heckles Ace. Ace puts him in a match against Mark Henry. The new theme in his era is Power People.
Rock came out. The crowd was electric chanting "Boots to Asses" & "You still have it." Rock came out and did his thing. It was everything it needed to be.
The first match was Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Santino. This match was just kind of there for me. But Santino beat both. As Swagger and Ziggler beat on Santino after the match, Santino ran up the ramp and was saved by Brodus Clay. Ziggler charged Brodus Clay and took a crazy bump on the ramp. Ziggler is the most underrated wrestler in the business.
We had the debut of Lord Tensai. The crowd chanted A-Train at the top of their lungs. I was hoping they would chant "Hip Hop Hippo." Alex Riley began his Future Endeavored Tour. I liked the debut of the Tensai character. And of course, Larry Stanley died when he saw "The Claw." It reminded me of a early 90's monster. Let's see where they go with him.
So Punk-Henry was not the same match he had with Daniel Bryan. It was as good a match as Mark Henry is capable of having. This was such a good match. Both guys really brought it. It ended in a countout. I love the booking as this sets up Mark Henry as credible again. Jericho comes out of the crowd and says that after that beating, he and Punk need a drink. What happened to them has to be seen to be believed.
Sheamus came out to celebrate and then Alberto del Rio's music hit. Ricardo Rodriguez started up and the crowd went nuts. For Daniel Bryan. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio delivered their lines and went through their motions all the while ignoring that the crowd was cheering someone else. Rock, Austin, Foley, Flair, Piper, those men would have never let a crowd get away with that.
We came back to get Cody vs. Kofi. Big Show came out to show Cody losing. I thought the story they told was very entertaining. Kofi got a nice win.
Abraham Washington gave Mark Henry his card. I'm not sure it was him or Teddy Long in a timewarp.
Eve cut a promo that was not horrible.
The main event was Miz vs. Ryder.
John Cena came out cut a promo on The Rock. The crowd was chanting for Lesnar at the top of their lungs. And then they got him. F5 on John Cena.
I have been watching Raw for the past year pretty much consecutively. This has been the best Raw in ages. 90% of that was the crowd. But the work was great. Lesnar coming back was perhaps one of the most electric things I've ever seen.
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Monday, March 26, 2012

Raw is Pre Wrestlemania-3-26-12

There are fewer bigger nights than this. Wrestlemania is the event that all events are measured by. This is the WWE's second-to-last chance to get us to want to buy Wrestlemania.
We begin with a tag match, Orton/Sheamus vs. Bryan/Kane. This match (shoot, this whole Raw) had one purpose-to get us to buy Wrestlemania. I like that they kept opponents separate. Heel Daniel Bryan was pretty impressive for me. I also like his commitment. There is no hesitation from him. The crowd seemed to be really hot and into a lot of the match. Commentary was also very strong. AJ got involved in the match and Bryan/Kane won. What a great first match.
They did a really fun segment/match with Johnny Ace coming out first. Then he introduced his flag-bearer Vickie Guerrero and his team captain David Otunga. Booker T introduced Teddy Long's flag-bearer Hornswoggle and team captain Santino Marella. As with all good David Otunga matches, it was short. As the match ended Miz did the beatdown and was announced as a member of Team Johnny.
Eve killed Kelly Kelly. In other news, Beth Phoenix looked really hot in that dress. I was wrong. Kelly Kelly is now Super Cena with breasts.
Christian walks out solidifying that he and Jack Swagger have a bad haircut contest. Then out comes Punk to reveal Jericho on the screen. He revealed that Punk was illegitimate. Then Christian attacked him which sent my wife into a tirade about his hair. My wife even liked the match enough to tell me. What a beatdown. Punk has snapped!
Ah, yes. Nothing says focused for Wrestlemania quite like Brodus Clay. Curt Hawkins is on his way to your local Lions Club to put over Johnny Attitude. In his defense, Hawkins sold well.
Big Show killed Primo. Remember when tag team champs weren't jobbers? Cody Rhodes cut a really good promo.
The Bellas demolish dialogue. So Zack Ryder's gimmick is that he says stupid things to women. At least they had a focus for Wrestlemania.
Great Khali fought Mark Henry in a match no one wanted to see. It was short and very painless. They had a face off and Booker T came to Teddy's rescue. So Booker gets his Wrestlemania payday.
Rock and Cena had their final stand-off. Rock sounded like he needed to work on his material in front of a live crowd. His monologue was awful. Then he was met by Cena. Rock has always put over talent. Shoot, he lost to Hurricane once. Now he has put Cena over verbally.
It ended up being a really good Raw. They were focused and everything (except for Clay) seemed to be building towards a Wrestlemania. I'm ready for Wrestlemania. Bring it on.
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Monday, March 19, 2012

Raw is Personal 3-19-12

Well, I'd like to write some introduction but for some reason I got home late and it just didn't quite happen. So I will get right in to Raw.
CM Punk opened it up talking about his dad being an alcoholic and how his dad had worked really hard to overcome and recover. Chris Jericho appeared on the screen and apologized for bringing up Punk's father. Now his sister on the other hand... Punk fed off him and they had a really strong build-up.
Big Show and Kane had a match or something. It was a back drop for Cody Rhodes to build up his and Big Show's match. As the ambush happened, Cody handcuffed Big Show and went after him. Really strong build-up.
They continued the build-up of Teddy Long-Johnny Ace by David Otunga facing Santino Marella. They started with a posedown. I gotta admit I popped for the Santino posedown.
Rock talked a long time.
Daniel Bryan squashed Zack Ryder.
John Cena took quite the beating at the hands of Mark Henry.  But he won and The Rock did his move on Henry.
Miz cuts a great promo. He puts out an open challenge and gets Sheamus. I really like how they are pointing out the way they're not putting over Miz' lack of Wrestlemania match.
I still think that Randy Orton and Kane seem last-minute, but I like that they're giving it meaning.
We go from anti-bullying to Vickie Guerrero getting booed out of the building for having an annoying voice.
We get Swagger and Ziggler vs. Truth & Kofi. It was pretty good build-up. Though I believe all 4 of those should have singles runs, I'm happy they have spots and places. Though I hate Swagger's character, the guy is a natural athlete and would kill in a world like Ring of Honor or Japan.
Then we had the 3-way confrontation. Shawn Michaels was the first. Then out came the Undertaker. Then out came HHH. They had a nice exchange, but it just wasn't quite there.
Tonight's Raw was pretty decent. You had a lot of really good buildup and it made me want to see Wrestlemania a bit more.
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Monday, March 12, 2012

Raw is Tired and Cranky 3-12-12

Raw may not be tired and cranky, but I sure am. Time changes, days at work and being accused (wrongly) of stealing by one of my heroes.
A lot of the AIW people I follow on Twitter are saying that Cleveland is a packed house.
John Cena opens up in a Mark Price jersey channeling old John Cena that we fell in love with.
Vickie took the mic and cut a great promo. But then again, I've never heard a bad Vickie Guerrero promo. Sheamus took on Dolph Ziggler. I've used the Mr. Perfect comparison before for Ziggler and I stand by it. It was a long good match.
I am going to rip the WWE in a future blog several new ones for the abusive storyline. It has no place in wrestling.
Johnny Ace is doing commentary. It was going to be Santino vs. David Otunga. Then it became Mark Henry. Now we have a squash of the US Champ.
WWE got publicity. And Eve has large fake breasts. And Zack Ryder is more stupid than anyone I've ever met. Beth Phoenix wants to attack Maria M. on Extra. I'm too lazy to google her name to get it right. Miz is on Psych. James Roday is on Raw. Is Psych that much in the toilet?
We get the return of Brodus Clay. This is the greatest Jinder Mahal match I've ever seen. Even WCW's The Gambler got in more offense.
HBK comes out to talk to Undertaker. Undertaker takes longer to walk to the ring than Jinder Mahal's match. They had a really nice exchange, but neither really said anything.
James Roday made an ass out of himself, but he looked like he was living a life-long dream. Punk and Miz fought a pretty decent match. Then Chris Jericho took the mic and proved why he's Chris Mother-effin' Jericho.
Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry couldn't quit going to his current barber and had a little boy's hair cut? That's what Jack Swagger looks like. However, he and Orton had a pretty good match.
Then Rock sang. He looks like he enjoys himself out there. And you had to love the Vanilla Ice + Teletubbies reference. Honestly this was one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen on wrestling tv in a long time.
All in all, a good Raw. I would say most things should be watched.
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Monday, March 5, 2012

Raw is HD 3-5-12

Yes, we have finally made it to the 21st century with an HD DirecTV receiver. I have no doubt my world will be forever changed, at least wrestling wise.
We open up the night with Shawn Michaels. I'm torn on this one. I don't mind Shawn on my tv, but on the other hand, can we let the guy retire? The crowd responded well to him and made him seem important. He asks for Triple H to come to the ring. Shawn went for way too long. What Triple H has perfected very well over the past few years is the art of the focused glare. He does that glare better than most guys cut promos.  Then HBK let everybody know he was going to be the guest referee. Here's to a 5-minute entrance at Wrestlemania.
Santino was supposed to fight Jack Swagger. Swagger looked like a 9-year-old who needs a haircut. This wasn't a match so much as a backdrop for the Teddy Long-Johnny Ace feud. However, Santino pinned Jack Swagger and won the belt. Best I can figure out, Swagger has failed a wellness test. Then Teddy Long had security escort Johnny Ace and his crew out. I believe this is like Vic Mackey suspending Det. McNulty on The Wire. (If you got that reference, you are my favorite person.)
Rock talked a lot. My wife was happy. Kelly Kelly was nominated for Best Butt-Kicker. And? Eve beat Alicia Fox.
Eve then tried to kiss Zack Ryder. They are booking Zack Ryder to look stupider than 1990 Sting.
John Cena did a very solid promo, but it just went too long and sounded way too scripted.
CM Punk & Sheamus took on Jericho & Bryan. The match was really good. I don't like the fact the main events laid hands on each other before Wrestlemania. But let's be honest. Punk and Jericho aren't going to have the same exact match at Wrestlemania. I liked the finish and the match had nice build-up.
Rock rambled about Paul Revere.
Miz was supposed to fight Big Show. I really like how Big Show has evolved as a worker since his days of The Giant in WCW. Cody Rhodes showed footage of WM 18. #$^%@$#$@ That was the last WWE PPV I ever bought.
Rock rambled more.
R-Truth came out while talking to Little Jimmy. Kane came out and killed him. I guess Randy Orton is going to fight Kane at Wrestlemania.
John Cena came out and cut another scripted promo. And then Rock came out. The two had a very nice interaction.
So this ended up being a decent Raw. I liked the Punk-Sheamus/Bryan-Jericho segment match and the Cena-Rock stuff was good. If you watched it, you don't feel your time was wasted. If you don't, you probably didn't miss anything.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Raw is Back 2-20-12

There are so many things I can talk about. I just wanted to take a few moments to discuss a few things. First of all, one of Texas' finest indy talents was in a horrible wreck and is now going through some major surgeries. Please take a moment to wish him well as he goes through this time. His Twitter can be found here.
Also, I had the opportunity to see a really awesome match between "Headbanger" Gregory James and "The Chosen One" Barrett Brown. I decided to share that match here. If you do not, go find a local indy wrestling company and support them. This was the best I had seen either do (that didn't involve a ladder).
We open up with the Bellas defending Zack Ryder to Eve. Then Raw officially opens to the entrance of the Confederate Warrior. Then he trashes Eve. Eve is on her knees crying. I deplored this whole segment. Thanks for reminding me that all women are sexually depraved.
The first match was Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. It was a nice match to start everything. It was a nice build towards Wrestlemania.
Are Johnny Ace and Teddy Long going to feud? Can I pay NOT to see that?
R-Truth is coming to the ring. Following him is Kofi. They are facing The Colons. The Colons got NO crowd reaction. The match was really good. Kofi pinned a Colon. Now Kofi & Truth are a tag team?
David Otunga gets Ezekiel Jackson which I guess means we all lose. Otunga wins. Zeke, rent, don't buy.
Undertaker comes out bald on-screen for the first time since before 1990. He and HHH have a really good exchange. There just isn't a single person who wants this match other than Mark & Paul. They agree to the match. It's going to be Hell in a Cell.
Daniel Bryan squashed Santino. Way to capitalize on your momentum, WWE.
Aksana and Kelly Kelly got the Bella Twins. The Bellas won. Sigh.
John Cena had a really good honest promo.
The Battle Royal was something that legends are made of. This was really good. But it was so brutal. At least 2 wrestlers were legit injured. And Jericho won and the build-up began.
I LOVED the Battle Royal, Cena's promo & the Taker-HHH. The Eve stuff was awful and the rest was just there. I'll call it decent.
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Monday, February 6, 2012

Raw Is Hopefully Good 2-6-11

My wrestling world is going great. Raw has been good for 3 weeks in a row. I'm going to MPX live with my mother or wife, whoever wins. AIW is having a 4-way of Facade, ACH, Rickey Shane Page and Uhaa Nation AND Tim Donst vs. BJ Whitmer at Gauntlet for the Gold 7. Chikara is also starting to get their year going. I just discovered a site where I can get really cheap Japanese DVD's. And Gregory Iron announced he was going to be part of the Super 8 tournament. I am in pro wrestling nirvana.
Triple H begins the night be flashing back to 2002 where every Raw began with him in the ring wearing a suit. HHH really needs to stop channeling The Rock or Vince. He cannot hold a crowd the way they can. He cuts a certain type of promo really well. This wasn't it. It was a pretty boring, way-too-long promo. Then he was interrupted by a really good Undertaker vignette.
Big Show nearly sprinted out to the ring. Daniel Bryan brought out AJ, (Thank you.) who looks breath-takingly beautiful in a neck brace. Big Show and Daniel Bryan had a really good match. Then Big Show was going to hit AJ inadvertently and stopped just in time. Then Daniel Bryan took the mic and said Big Show was a horrible person. I really liked Daniel's psycho persona.
John Cena meets Carl Edwards. I could care less about NASCAR. This isn't helping me not boo Cena.
David Otunga still exists. He decides to pray for Johnny Ace's return. So does Mrs. Ace. He Tebows. I kid you not. He Tebowed. Then Justin Roberts announces Otunga has a match. And his opponent is my pasty hero Sheamus. Sheamus made his chest redder than Otunga did. The highlight of the match was my wife pointing out Little Naitch Charles Robinson.
Chris Jericho takes a mic. Nothing more need be said. Punk came out and said nothing, just held the belt. Perfect.
Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes. My wife laughed at how much better-looking Cody Rhodes is than the rest of his family and said Barrett needs to pin his ears back. Those two faced Great Khali & Randy Orton. The match was very predictable. Whatever.
We get to watch this Cena s*** again? What better way to show the people how much we shouldn't boo him than show Jared from Subway?
Beth Phoenix is devious. That's what I learned from the 1-minute Divas match.
Then they showed THE SAME VIDEO PACKAGE from earlier with the Undertaker.
The 6-pack challenge was good.
This was a pretty mediocre Raw. Show-Bryan and 6 Pack were good. I also loved the first faceoff between Jericho and Punk. The rest was just fast-forward worthy.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Raw Is Fire 1-30-2012

I'm sure you're going to read many great recaps of the Royal Rumble that are already out there. But I wanted to just give my small opinion. It is very rare to find anything in wrestling that surprises me. Punk-Cena at Money in the Bank, Quackenbush-Kingston at Chikara's High Noon, and now the end of this year's Royal Rumble. I would like to say that I picked Sheamus from the beginning (and even had Jericho and Sheamus in my final 2), but when it was Jericho and Sheamus, I had NO idea who was winning. It's nice to be able to sit back and watch wrestling like a kid again.
So I did something I had never done before in my life. I correctly predicted the Royal Rumble winner. And yes, I really had British Bulldog winning in '97. And Kane in '02. I'm intrigued to see where we're going with tonight's Raw.
We open it up with Johnny Ace walking out to the crowd and smiling. He introduced the competitors in the Elimination Chamber. Then Punk came out and started to bully and insult Ace. And then Daniel Bryan interrupted them. He cut a pretty nice promo. Then Sheamus interrupted them both. The crowd seemed to be behind Sheamus.
Ziggler gets Orton. Welcome back to the middle of the card, Dolph. They did an interesting promo with Wade Barrett. This was a very good match for a Raw opener. From somebody who's had the same injury Randy Orton has with the herniated disc in what I think is pretty much the same spot, Orton has all my respect for how quickly he was able to recover and continue wrestling in the ring. Orton pinned Ziggler in a very good match.
William Regal has conjoined twin daughters he keeps locked up in a closet. Curt Hawkins still exists.
There was a battle of the dinosaurs as Tyler Reks took on Brodus Clay.
Punk and Daniel explain Straight Edge vs. Veganism.
CM Punk and Daniel Bryan have a match where they are both champions and it is the first hour main event? You s***in' me? What do you expect? You had two of the best competitors in the WWE going at it. Sans the head-dropping, this was exactly what you would want from Punk-Danielson. I think this is perhaps the best match I have seen on Raw in forever.
We got Miz vs. Kofi with Truth doing commentary. Miz is really over with the crowd. They wrestled to a really good match. Kofi won.
Rock is being featured in a video package. I guess he really needs to be put over. (<--- sarcasm font)
Beth Phoenix killed Eve. Then Kane surprised Eve with an appearance. Cena ran out to the ring, didn't stop to say hi to his cameraman friend. Good brawl. 
The Johnny Ace-HHH stuff was fun. And then the Undertaker appeared. Yes, I still mark out like a little girl for Taker. 
Cole was pretty atrocious tonight. The in-ring action as a whole was off the chains. I still have to call this an excellent Raw. Very well-done.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Raw Is Not Elmo 1-23-12

As I write this, I am watching Elmo's World. I am a good father and that is what a good father does. She has been since put to bed. Now I am watching 2 Broke Girls wondering what will come next to the wrestling fans. Last week, we had one of the best endings to Raw since Punk's "The Promo." Now it's time to see how the WWE will follow up with it.
Raw began with Punk doing what he does best. Sitting cross-legged in the ring with a microphone in his hand. He said that he wanted to hear Johnny Ace say all the things to Punk's face. Then John Cena came out and said he wanted Kane tonight and Ryder to get his rematch. Cena had some great fire and intensity. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to admit. But I am beginning not to hate Johnny Ace as a character.
The first match was John Cena & CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger. It was a really decent match. You had the face in peril and then Ziggler won via a handful of tights.
Chris Jericho played with the crowd. This is one of the best new things about Raw.
Mick Foley gave Zack Ryder a pep talk and Cena offered Ryder his back. Ryder said he wanted to do this on his own. Ryder took quite the beating. If you want to see this match done much better, click here and watch Icarus vs. Gregory Iron. It was a great moment for Ryder. Kane is over like a monster, and Ryder got lots of sympathy for it. Ryder got a lot of  chants in the show. As they were putting Ryder in the ambulance, Eve Torres auditions to be the worst human being ever by telling Cena this was all his fault. But the winner was Josh Matthews who tried to interview John Cena. John Cena gave his angry face at the camera which looked like a Vince snarl.
Sheamus wrestled Jinder Mahal. I would like Mahal to never appear on my tv. They're building up the Royal Rumble.
Miz and Truth are wrestling tonight. Do they understand what it means to wait for something for a PPV?
Brodus Clay killed Heath Slater.
Miz and Truth wrestled a good match I didn't want to see because they should be waiting for a PPV.
Johnny Ace is told his job is going to be evaluated by Triple H. Surprise, surprise. Ace didn't wrestle. It was Otunga, whom Punk killed faster than I mute the tv when Jennifer Hudson's commercials come on.
Another good Raw tonight. I really liked the build-up towards the PPV. The Punk-Ace stuff is evolving into good. Clay continues to be a great new gimmick and surprise. This has been a pretty solid Raw.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Raw Is Perez Hilton? 1-16-12

For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn't change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I'm curious to see where that goes. I'm also curious to see what Jericho does tonight.
We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal's spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler's spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.
We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons &  (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).
Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.
Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can't think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the "unable to change a flat tire" thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.
In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn't medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?
R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with " 'Allo, Govnuh." Then there was a silly look at R-Truth's trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.
Then Jack Swagger comes out and he's going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.
We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don't know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.
Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.
The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.
This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Raw is in a Rush 1-9-12

So we begin Raw tonight.
Kane talks forever. And then Cena comes out and they brawl into the crowd. It was a pretty awesome brawl and Cena was silent. I thought the announcers did a nice job of selling the brawl.
Sheamus & Santino took on Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal. It was not a bad match. Mahal got pinned with the Cobra. Mahal, hope you like Florida, because I think you'll be wrestling at the Impact Zone.
Miz is in the back with Johnny Ace and the never-ending cup of coffee with David Otunga.
Edge is being inducted in the Hall of Fame. So deserved.
Miz wants Mason Ryan to share needles or something.
Then Zack Ryder is hitting on Eve again and it works. Then Kane is seen lurking in the shadows.
Now Kofi Kingston is going to take on Daniel Bryan. I think it was a squash. Then Daniel Bryan celebrated like he had won the World Series. Then we had Big Show face off with Daniel Bryan.
Brodus Clay finally debuts. Holy s***! It's the love child of Ernest "The Cat" Miller and Flash Funk. Poor Curt Hawkins.
We get Jack Swagger taking on CM Punk. Of course their match was good as we knew it would be. I also like the story they told of Dolph & Vickie getting involved. The ending just seemed kind of really weird, like a ref botch.
Miz wanted Ricardo Rodriguez to call out R-Truth for him. Ricardo Rodriguez was so awesome. Then R-Truth came out and asked Ricardo Rodriguez to sing a song. So he sang a remix of La Cucaracha. Rodriguez owned that segment.
Chris Jericho came out, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and began crying and then walked off. Brilliant.
Eve was about to go to the ring when Kane's music hit. So Zack Ryder comes to get her and then goes to the car. The car's tire is flat. So Ryder gets out to change the tire and leaves Eve stuck in the car. Zack Ryder has never seen a horror film. And Kane is apparently really slow.
Ziggler and Cena had a really nice match. And then, as we all knew would happen, Kane got to Zack Ryder. So Cena left the match and Kane laid him out.
All in all... I really wanted to like this Raw. But they did everything they could to make me not like it. Chalk this one up to awful.
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Monday, January 2, 2012

Raw Is a Return 1-2-2012

Well, tonight's Raw has been built around a return. There are rumors that Chris Jericho has been spotted at the Memphis airport. So have Undertaker and Michelle McCool. Rumors are flying around about Brock Lesnar. I think everybody has been spotted except Chyna. So tonight begins Raw.
We start if off with a video package. And then John Cena starts off Raw. Any buzz I had for Raw was killed the moment Cena's music hit. My daughter was still up and the minute she saw John Cena, she reached for the remote. I cannot make this up. So John Cena cut an ok promo on how fans can chant whatever they want. He's going to keep on being John Cena. Then Kane does the same s*** he always does and we get pyro.
Daniel Bryan is introduced and the crowd doesn't even come close to reacting for him. This was a pretty decent match. We got to watch Cody show off his skills as a mat technician. Bryan did get some chants. But would he have without Cody? It was a really short good match. Bryan won and then went over and celebrated with the crowd. The only thing is that it was kind of really excessive.
Johnny Ace recapped all the stuff with Miz. We get Miz and Sheamus. And then he called Miz a lame duck. Then they showed Miz walking away throwing a temper tantrum. And then R-Truth mocked a duck. Congratulations, WWE. You just killed R-Truth.
They showed recaps of all the Wade Barrett stuff. And he was interrupted by Santino Marella of all people. Sure enough, Wade killed him. The best part was the Speed references. R-Truth is now stalking the Miz.
Miz came out full of fire. And then Sheamus beat the sternum off of Miz. Miz tried running away. Then R-Truth was out in the crowd. R-Truth's voices are now Little Jimmies. And then he beat up Miz with the Water Bottle of Doom. I feel really bad for Miz having to sell that. Then R-Truth found a kid and had him say something. I liked the segment. I just want to see more from what R-Truth is given to say.
Dolph Ziggler cuts a nice short promo.
Zack Ryder is trying to flirt with Eve Torres. Then Jack Swagger tries to talk trash. Ryder sounded sooooooo stupid. Then Johnny Ace makes a 6-man tag. So now Punk isn't even going to be the main event? WWE, listen to what I say very closely. F*** you.
I really liked the feel of the Punk/Ziggler match. It felt exactly like a main event should be. Too bad it wasn't one. It was a good match with lots of near-falls. Johnny Ace interfered and there was a countout. Ziggler won and then ran away with the belt. He didn't win the belt.
The Bellas came out looking really smoking hot. We then got Kelly and Eve vs. Bellas. The Bellas won. It was pretty decent for usual divas matches.
Punk delivered a promo where he was going to beat Johnny Ace "like a bitch." Ooh, they said the word "bitch." Let me know when Punk drops a pipebomb.
Then they revealed the return of Chris Jericho. It was a pretty awesome moment. He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be out there. It was the kind of reaction Hogan thinks he gets. He played with the crowd for a little bit and then went to the back.
The main event was such a non-event. At least Cena and Ryder had the advantage. The only good part was Kane attacking Ryder afterwards and then laying out Cena and Ryder some more. Kane was about to suck Ryder into the abyss when Cena pulled him out at the end. Cheesy, but it IS a TVPG product.
This was a pretty decent Raw. I'm close to calling it good, but we're not quite there. I had things I liked: Ziggler's promo, Bryan-Rhodes and Miz. There were some things I didn't like: Cena in the main event, the Ziggler-Punk finish (not because of the countout but because Ziggler acted like he had won the belt) and opening it with a video package.
There were some nice questions to be asked here and all of them are WTF's revolving around Jericho. And that is as it should be. Now we have a reason to come back.
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